December 2011
walks into chair
me: sorry
chair:
babarcriss:
“yo ho, yo ho! a pirate’s life for me,” i whisper as i download music and videos illegally.
bigmamag:
Stfu bitch I cum nutella: tickle-me-misha: my mom... →
tickle-me-misha:
my mom just asked my why i didn’t do my chores today
and i responded by going on this whole explanation about how spiderman needed my help and i said no because i don’t like him but then he told me batman was kidnapped so i had to go ya know cz batman. and so we went and…
When you're in school and you touch a piece of gum...
I really fucking love potatoes.
lovebugloki:
Honestly, look at these versatile mother fuckers.
They can be
Hot
Cold
Healthy
Unhealthy
Simple
Fancy
Eaten on the go
Ugh. Potato appreciation post.
Biology Teacher: So the sperm is surrounded with glucose
student: you mean semen is like sugar?
Biology Teacher: yeah basically
me: doesn't taste like..
Biology Teacher:
me:
student:
Biology Teacher:
me:
student:
me: whoops
Passed a real gentleman on the sidewalk tonight
Dude [into cellphone]: I'M GOING TO BREAK YOUR FUCKING JAW THE NEXT TIME I SEE YOU. DO YOU HEAR ME? YOUR FUCKING JAW. I'M GONNA BREAK-- hold on, give me a second. There's a woman walking by.
My 45oz jar of menstrual blood is almost full.
daradarapattycakes:
vaginafor1000alex:
slypeezy:
welldressedhoodlum:
cuntbarf:
I am not sure what to do with it once it’s full. I have been collecting my blood for a year and a half, and I would like to keep it. But, I am terrified of something happening and it breaking. I would be lying if I said I weren’t attached to it.
What do you think, Tumblr?
What do you think, Tumblr?
...
mcavoyhasladyhips:
one half of tumblr: “i just wanna cuddle under a blanket and eat soup and watch movies all day with you and maybe kiss your cheek and stare into your eyes and hold your hand and tell you i love you”
other half of tumblr: “unf i want to take all of your clothes off with my mouth then ram you against the wall and pin your arms up and then just fuck the shit out of you”
otakuhime16:
That’s why Holmes, THAT IS WHY
jared in highway appreciation post.
searchinganddestroying:
